"...but we do it everyday..."

I haven't posted in a little while, and I think it's because I really haven't known how to tell my story recently. There is such a broad scope of change in my life that I have been remiss in finding clues as to what they mean.

When I turn on the television, I can't help but be saddened by what I've been seeing. It seems like no matter what issue we talk about, there is always a right way, and anyone who thinks differently is hateful or intolerant. I see hypocrisy, anger, judgment, denial, betrayal, and worst of all, apathy.

Today was the worst. I turned on the television to find that one man has killed, by himself, over 30 people at Virginia Tech University. There simply is nothing that can be said to try to explain how evil this was. In one moment, the darkness came over a man so completely, that he was able to coolly destroy so many lives and so many families. Just thinking of that makes me breathe harder and my heart clenches in confusion.

It seems the devil is always at my door and the door of my friends. There is no game he won't play, no trick he won't use, and no lie he won't tell. I have a friend who is struggling with her faith right now, and wondering why she can't leave the place where all she wants to do is follow her own desires. That isn't who she was created to be. She was created to give glory to God. The lie comes when the devil makes us belief that our purposes are in our own matters. They are not. They are indeed God's.

Despite all of this, and despite the hatred and evil that has been able to manifest itself in this world, God is still here. I feel it even more now than ever. The same God who took the time to create the infinite universe and took the time to especially create me, has a hand in all of this, even in the tragedies. That seems so trite and naive, but when I look back... I can't find a single horrible moment in my life that somehow God didn't work my future benefit.

We simply do not have the ability of foresight. We see the map of our lives as it comes and we forget that there is no possible way to see past what we are doing now. I thank God for my salvation. I praise Him that when something like today happens and that event causes so many in the world to doubt its meaning, that I can look up and know that I don't have to worry why. I know this because He took that worry from me on the cross. And because of that promise, I have no fear.

"He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."